Senyum :-)

assalamualaikum
salam rabu
good morning semua

walau mcm mana, sedih, tak suka, marah, benci
cuba senyum...sabar..ingat Allah
istifar banyak2...
jangan dengar hasutan syaitan
emmm...

that what I trying to do
everytime....
sedih, sayu, rindu...
menangis...tak kira masa or tempat
tau jer la...emosi tak berapa stabil sangat
jiwa a bit kacau
but...Mummy Ayu akan cuba senyum
cepat2 istifar
its really help.. in sya Allah

nampak luaran...I look okay
but....dalam hati, dalam fikiran..hanya Allah yg tahu
hanya yg melalui jer..dapat memahami

Mummy Ayu nampak kuat
and..ada kawan2 kata.. you kuat
no.. I am not
kita hambaNya yg lemah
ada masa...Mummy Ayu akan menangis tiba2 jer
rasa rindu sangat2..tiba2 je
and..sometimes rasa
betul ke...Didi dah takde
 sbb kami memang dah terbiasa jauh
hanya hp mendekatkan kami
whatsapp selalu, videocall...voicecall everyday
but whatsapp la..memang selalu
ada benda sikit pun... a small little thing..kita akan whatsapp
that was the thing ..  I really missed.
even..masa mula2 tu..bunyi whatsapp masuk.. I was thinking its from him
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kat rumah, kat office..kat mana2 la..
tetiba jer..kalau teringat tu
Allahuakbar
sayu sangat
but..cepat2 istifar
cuba utk kuatkan semangat
and....redha ketentuan Ilahi
and..Mummy Ayu selalu fikir
Mummy Ayu sedih...rasa mcm down..
hilang suami..tempat bergantung..my partner of life
ada orang lain..lagi sedih

but me...
alhamdulillah
Mummy Ayu kerja, ada 2 orang ..boy & girl, 
and cara dia pergi...walaupun mengejut..so sudden
tapi Mummy Ayu ada disebelah dia... and kami dah spent masa bersama 
walaupun tak puas
but yet..kalau Mummy Ayu keja...kat Bangkok
takde sapa sebelah dia
mcm mana Mummy Ayu nak balik..nak kejar flight... Allahuakbar.. lagi lah kan
tak mau dibayangkan
so..it was well planned by Allah

Dia jarakkan kami
Mummy Ayu dah terbiasa bertiga jer ngan anak2
dah terbiasa handle diaorang .. sorang2
and dah terbiasa jauh ngan Didi
cuma kali ni..betul2 jauh
and..
never can see him again
never can text him again
never can comeback to him again
never can hug him, kiss him, 
never can hear his voice again
never can take pic with him again
never 
:-(

but yet...
I try to smile..
as much I can
try to be strong
with support from all my families & friends
in sya Allah
Mummy Ayu boleh
:-)

#Al Fatihah buat kesayanganku
p/s ~ bunga tu bukan Mummy Ayu dapat tau..nak kasi kat Datin
cantik kan? bunga kat sini cantik2 & murah



mummy_ayu

I am Mummy Ayu and obviously I am a mummy of two kids, Ian and Iris. This blog is like my diary. Its contain my life story, my kids, my passions,my hobbies, my friends, my cooks and many more.

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